Ryo's Sister
by Ruler of Randomness
Summary: Ryo's sister, Amane, has come to live with Ryo and the tomb robber; unfortunately for them, she seems to be slightly...insane... Rated T for plane almost crashes and evil squirrels.
1. Chapter 1

-1Yes, once more it is I, the Ruler of Randomness, the person who wore a stuffed frog on her head for an entire week at school, the one who when insulted merely replies, "no one is available to take your call, please leave a message after the beep", and…if you see someone making a complete and utter fool of themselves in public, it's me, say hi.

Bakura: "The sad part is that she actually is proud of herself."

Ryo: "Yep."

RoR: "Am I really that bad to be around?"

Ryo and Bakura: "You have noooooooo idea."

The 'what if' scenario, ingenious really for it has once again inspired me! What if…what if our favorite albino, British, millennium item holder had a sister who grew up in the U.S. of A…who was worse than Bakura…and has come to live with Ryo and Bakura in their apartment…ah the randomness… (A.N. in the manga Ryo actually does write to his sister Amane, so I don't think she really counts as an OC)

Disclaimer like thingy which exists for no apparent reason other than to mock the many many many authoresses which must then type them repeatedly: …guess, just guess…come on you can do it! Use those Greek and Latin routes that you were supposed to have learned in fifth grade…fan fiction me no own.

Chp. 1Introducing

At Ryo's apartment…

"Um…Bakura…?…there's something that I need to talk to you about…" Ryo was trying to talk to the spirit of the millennium ring, who was sprawled out on the couch watching t.v. and eating every junk food known to man.

"What? I'm busy." He was watching a Lavern and Shirley rerun and consuming mini powered doughnuts at an inhuman speed.

"…I see…uh…you see…the thing is…how do I say this…hmmm…-" As Ryo struggled to explain the life changing event that was to occur, he failed to notice the former tomb robber becoming angry…really, really angry.

"FOOL!!! JUST SPIT OUT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY!!! I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN LISTEN TO YOU BABBLE FOR AN HOUR!!!" At this point Bakura had thrown the empty package of doughnuts at Ryo's already white hair.

"My sister is coming to live with us." This announcement was met with silence. Ryo was confused as he had been pointedly staring at the floor for most of the conversation only now looking up to see an extremely comical look plastered to his yami's face (his mouth had dropped open and he had eyes roughly the size of Yugi's, not to mention the fact that he'd just stood up and had fallen back onto the couch after hearing this news).

"…but…sister…why…here…staying…what?" Bakura shook his head to clear his thoughts and started over. "Okay, your sister…she's coming here because…why?"

Ryo grinned at the shocked expression on his face, it wasn't often that he got to surprise the legendary Thief King. "Her name's Amane and she's been in America until recently, but now she's coming to live with us because both of my parents are away most of the time on archeological digs."

"Tell her not to come, it's bad enough living with you as it is. Just get her to stay wherever it is she's been staying." And with that signaling the end of things Bakura flopped back down onto the couch to watch the commercial for meow mix that had come on. "She can't, Bakura."

"What do you mean she can't? Of course she can, just cancel the flight and send some money or something. It's simple." Bakura looked a little ticked off that Ryo hadn't been able to figure out this obvious solution to their problem. "She can't stay where she is now…she'll be arriving on the six o'clock flight tomorrow afternoon."

It was official, Bakura was ticked off, "I SAID THAT I DON'T WANT HER STAYING HERE!!! WHY CAN'T SHE STAY OVER THERE, HUH?!?!"

Ryo exited the room saying, "The thing is, they threw her out of the top level security prison because she caused too much trouble and now she has no where else to go."

"…how does someone get kicked out of jail…?…"

And that's the end of the very first chapter of my fanfic! Next chapter will involve her arrival, and the third one will probably be a set up type thing and her actually moving into the apartment. After that it should get really funny.

Bakura: "Does 'funny' involve pain for the main characters in any way?"

RoR: "But of course!"

Ryo: "I was afraid she'd say that."

RoR: "Oh, not you Ryo!"

Ryo: "Really? I needn't fear for my life?"

RoR: "Nope, the fan girls would kill me, plus I'm going to have my little Kura-chan take her out to destroy…er…explore Domino."

Ryo: "Kura-chan? …oh well, as long as it doesn't involve me."

Bakura: "Don't call me that…but I'm your favorite, why do I have to take that psychopath anywhere?"

RoR: "Because you're my favorite, and I always torture those I like best…or hate most…or am aware of in any form or fashion…never mind."

Ryo: "…have fun _Kura-chan_."

Bakura: "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"


	2. Chapter 2

-1Disclaimer-type-thing-created-for-evil-purpose: fan fiction me no own.

Chp. 2SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS…THE LANDING GEAR WAS GONE AND THE PILOTS JUMPED?

Time has passed and Ryo has managed to convince his yami that even though Amane was forcefully released from prison she will be no trouble when she arrives. Now who was it that said ignorance was bliss…?

"Bakura! It's time to go to the airport to pick up Amane, aren't you coming? What in the world is that for!?!? " This last part was added after witnessing the bizarre attire of Bakura. (Allow me to explain: fireman's jacket, various types of padding, goggles, and he was currently debating between a biker's helmet and one of those bee-keeper's masks with the netting).

"I don't care what you say, I've decided to go prepared. As far as I know, this little she-devil could be as evil as you are good-hearted and kind!" Ryo blushed at the unintended compliment and set forth the long and tiring process of explaining why Bakura could not wear something like that in public…

Meanwhile…

"I said I wanted a package of peanuts with exactly three peanuts and twelve grains of salt! Why can't you people understand the importance of this?!?" This was enough to cause the last (sane) flight attendant to call to the pilots saying, "I've held her off as long as I can…I'd say from India to Korea…it's up to you now to hold her off and make sure that she is detained!" and with this she jumped from the plain parachuting to a tiny boat in the ocean below (they're crossing the ocean between China and Japan now) causing the other flight attendants (the ones who weren't hard core enough to deal with Amane) to jump behind her screaming things like, " Now we go to a better place…DAVY JONES LOCKER" and "The freedom of the cheese, we must insure the freedom of the cheese!" (you get the idea right?)

"Well, I wonder what I should do now…sit here quietly like a good little girl…nah…hey, I know…" she then enters the pilot control room where the pilots are cowering under the dashboards and control panels. "Is it my turn to fly the plane yet?"

You now see the plane flying into the distance doing difficult flight patterns and the occasional person parachuting to the inviting shark infested waters below them...

Ryo wasn't able to convince Bakura to leave the house without his 'protection' so he was going to meet her alone, which was probably for the best seeing as how she didn't know about the magical properties of the millennium objects. He then goes to the lobby where Amane's flight was scheduled to land within the hour only to hear a slightly disturbing announcement over the intercom, "Flights have been delayed due to an unwanted convict's actions. Please be patient as we are doing everything in our power to bring everyone to a livable landing. That is all."

"Definitely Amane's flight…" he'd just gotten these words out of his mouth when he spotted a pinprick in the sky…which became a speck in the sky…which became a dot in the sky…which eventually became an air plane which was coming down extremely low with no obvious signs of stopping or even slowing down for that matter…and it was headed straight for the waiting room where Ryo was. "This isn't going to be pretty."

A random person walks by talking on his cellular phone who also sees the impending danger, "And then she said- PULL UP!!! PULL UP!!!" He then drops the phone and runs leaving the confused person on the other end, "What? Pull what up? Hello? Dang it I lose more customers that way…for whoever is hearing this…ahem…Madam Cleo knows all and sees all, call Madam Cleo now for the low low price of twenty-five cents a minute-" CLICK!

"That was different…please tell me Amane isn't flying…er…crashing…that huge aircraft…dang, poo, crap, and other words which I use to describe this miserable situation." Ryo then calmly walks out to the hall way and presses the 'press in case of Amane' button which all air ports are required by law to have.

The plane then stops in mid air and a giant moon walk (for those of you who don't know what a moon walk is, it's one of those giant balloon things that you climb in and bounce on) appears around the plane. The only person left on the plane then jumps onto the moon walk screaming about things like this only ever happening to her. Amane finally spots Ryo who has been peering out the giant window which is mere inches from where the plane had stopped. "Ryo! Beloved brother! Older sibling! Role model! Sane family member! Fruit punch!"

"Yes well…fruit punch? Well, whatever, let's go find your bags and get you home…you must be tired…Amane, that's not yours, and you know it." Amane had been trying to drag the moon walk containing the plane with her. "Ooookaaaay."

Amane and Ryo head towards the bag claim and find the bags that belong to Amane…a black duffel bag with what appears to be duck tape instead of a handle, a greenish backpack with two melted Hershey's bars stuck to the side, and a cat carrier holding several small rabid squirrels. "We aren't allowed to have animals in our building." "But they're my friends! …that's okay I'll give them to that sweet little girl over there…" Amane points to an adorable little girl who has just gotten off of another plane…an adorable girl with blonde pigtails and a fluffy teddy bear in her arms…yep, it's Rebecca.

"Hey little girl! Would you like to have these adorable little animals? I can't have animals where I'm going to be living from now on." Rebecca peers into the cage and watches as the squirrels start to claw at the metal mesh keeping them from escaping. "Ooh, they're adorable! I'd love to have them! Thanks so much!" Ryo and Amane are half way across the parking lot to get a taxi when they hear… "Aaaah! The squirrels! The squirrels!!! They're everywhere!! My head!" "Yes, that's it! Dance my minions! Mwahahahahaha! Thank you Amane!"

"How do you know Rebecca, Amane?" Amane looks around innocently before saying something along the lines of having met her in an effort to prevent global cooling campaign while in America.

Ryo is able to hail a taxi without too much of a problem…that is until Amane decides she wants to tip the driver with the two Hershey's bars on her bag, but Ryo sorts everything out and they get home safely.

"Bakura, we're home…Bakura…?…" Bakura was once again on the couch watching t.v. but this time is wearing his protective clothing and holding a metal baseball bat. "Where is it?" "Don't call her an it. Amane is still outside walking around," and Ryo fills Bakura in on the finer points of Amane's trip. Bakura listens with fascination until the very end, "So what you're saying is…the landing gear was gone and the pilots jumped?"

And so ends chapter 2...does anyone like Rebecca? I like Rebecca, she reminds me of myself…not really, I've just always wanted to say that…chapter three coming soon! Amane and Yami Bakura meet for the first time! Ah the mayhem…

Bakura: "Where did this come from?"

Ryo: "You should see what she has planned for you in the future."

Bakura: "Me? Why me, and how do you know?"

Ryo: "She enjoys tormenting her favorite characters, and I saw her writing stuff on her binder in science. Something along the lines of 'Kura-chan welcomes pharaoh in for cookies and milk'."

Bakura: proceeds to chase Ryo around with baseball bat from previous chapter "I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT, AND THAT STUPID PHARAOH WILL NEVER BE INVITED BY ME TO DO ANYTHING OF THE KIND!!!!" 

RoR: "Kura-chan…" WHACK "…tree…never mind…"

Ryo: is standing over dazed former tomb robber "_Kura-chan_ and Amane sittin' in a tree K I S S I N G…"

Bakura: "I could cry…but I won't."


	3. Chapter 3

-Things that are italicized are thoughts, just so you know.

RoR: "And here it is, what you've all been waiting for…I AM THE PROUD NEW OWNER OF YU-GI-OH! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-"

WHAM!!!

RoR: "Owww…"

Bakura: "She means, she's got chapter three ready to go. Enjoy…I guess…"

Ryo: "You really didn't have to hit her that hard."

Bakura: glances at unmoving figure "Yes I did."

Chp. 3 Family :)

"Bakura, you've met her. She isn't that bad, really, can't you help us get her stuff up stairs? This bookcase is really heavy!" Still refusing to so much as glance in Amane's direction, Bakura went over to Ryo's end of the aforementioned object and hoisted it up the remaining four stairs with ease. "It's not heavy, you're just weak."

"Thanks, Kura-chan! You really are sweet! I knew Ryo was fibbing when he said you were a meanie." Amane has managed to sneak up behind Bakura and wrap him in a spine crushing embrace while at the same time managing to kick several boxes marked 'dangerous, live snakes' into the room without Ryo or Bakura noticing. "Hey! Let go, I can't breathe! AND DON'T CALL ME KURA-CHAN! I AM AN EXTREMELY TERRIFYING TOMB ROBBER AND…and…HEY! GET BACK HERE! THE MILLENNIUM RING IS MINE!!" Bakura now has the task of chasing Ryo's crazed sister half way across the city to look forward to. "Ryo, that's mine!" Ryo wipes his brow while leaning against the pile of boxes that he has brought up while Bakura was being robbed. "And you want me to…what? Go after her? I'm going to see Yugi, you can go find her. See ya."

"…TRAITOR!…fine I'll just go find her myself…it shouldn't be that hard…"

Meanwhile…Amane has found our favorite CEO, let's see what happens, shall we?

"Why do you have a briefcase?"

"Because I do." _Annoying little girl. _

"Oh…why do you have a trench coat?"

"Because I do." _She's driving me crazy._ Seto sped up his pace trying to get away from his pursuer…he was failing miserably.

"Oh…why do you have brown hair?"

"Because I do."

_He's not even listening to me anymore…I can work with this…_ "Oh…why do you pick your nose?"

"Because I do." _Only half a block to Kaiba Corp, I can make it!_

_Heh heh _"Oh…why do you eat bugs?"

"Because I do." _Just a few more feet._

_Heh heh _"Oh…why do you have a crush on Ryo's sister?"

"Because I do."

"REALLY?! THAT'S SO SWEET!…but you're really not my type, sorry, see you around Mr. Trench-coat."

"Huh?" Kaiba shrugs and enters his main office without realizing what has occurred.

RoR: "...yeah...that was short."

Bakura: "And surprisingly painless."

RoR: starts to whimper "...no one's reviewing my story..."

Ryo: "That's not true; journey maker reviewed; it was a really awesome review, too."

RoR: brightens "Yeah, you're right, shout out to journey maker for being my very first reviewer EVER!!!"

glomps to journey maker (everyone else, learn from journey maker; i know you're reading this)


End file.
